When you feel offended, you’re practicing judgment. You judge someone else to be stupid, insensitive, rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, or foolish, and then you find yourself upset and offended by their conduct. What you may not realize is that when you judge another person, you do not define them. You define yourself as someone who needs to judge others.
Just as no one can define you with their judgments, neither do you have the privilege of defining others. When you stop judging and simply become an observer, you will know inner peace. With that sense of inner peace, you’ll find yourself free of the negative energy of resentment, and you’ll be able to live a life of contentment.
Not being offended will mean eliminating all variations of the following sentence from your repertoire of available thoughts: “If only you were more like me, then I wouldn’t have to be upset right now.” You are the way you are, and so are those around you. Most likely they will never be just like you. So stop expecting those who are different to be what you think they should be. It’s never going to happen.
Excerpted from the article:
Do You Have a Right to be Upset? Are Resentments Justified?
by Wayne W. Dyer.
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Our natural expression is Love. Any other expression we find ourselves in is just a warp of our true identity.
One of the great things I learned from Tibetan Buddhism is that we pursue enlightenment not for ourselves, but so we can help others wake up, help others move beyond their suffering and difficulty. This value is quite different than what we have here in our culture where we think mostly in terms of ‘I’m better than you are’ or ‘I’m going to be enlightened before you are.’
There’s a great, great Buddhist practice of praying that others will wake up before you do. Boy! Does this ever change your relationship with the people who are bugging you! You begin to ask, ‘What can I do that will help them?’ It’s a very powerful meditation.
Excerpted from the article:
No One Is An Island: We Are Companions, Not Competitors — by Margaret Wolff.
The only thing we have control over is our choice to either react mindlessly or respond mindfully to “what is” in the current moment. To practice the art of uncertainty is to let go of the need to control the actions and behavior of other people, including their opinions of us.
It also means understanding that we have no control over the future, what “should or shouldn’t” happen tomorrow, but at the same time, it means developing an inner knowing that everything will be all right.
Sometimes we avoid seeing the truth that lies behind our fear because then we’ll have to deal with that reality. However, there is something very empowering about turning and facing our fear and shedding new light on it. Once exposed to the light, the things we fear seem to lose their power to scare us.
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Excerpted from: The Illusion of Control: Seeking Security
by Dennis Merritt Jones.
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