Everyone lies, everyone has secrets, and everyone has fears, so there’s no point in admonishing people to stop it. What works better, what helps us to become more transparent, is to admit our fears and to name them.
Most people have one or two “favorite fears.” Some of us tend to fear being ignored; others fear being singled out for attention. Some of us fear abandonment; others fear being smothered. Some fear being overwhelmed or overstimulated, others avoid emptiness or having nothing to do. Frequently your favorite fear only emerges in certain types of situations.
Getting familiar with your fears can help you to take them more lightly. Many people suffer unnecessarily because they try to hide what they’re afraid of. If you accept your fears, they won’t rule your behavior as much as if you try to pretend they don’t exist.
Excerpted from the article:
Secrets and Lies: A Barrier to Authenticity
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