What is the difference between complaining and discussing certain topics in a constructive way? Here, our attitude or our motivation for speaking is chief.
Discussing a situation involves taking a more balanced approach, in which we actively try to understand the origin of the problem and consider various possible remedies. We are proactive, not reactive. We assume responsibility for what is our responsibility and cease blaming others when we cannot control a situation.
Thus, it’s possible to discuss our health without complaining about it. We simply tell others the facts and go on. If we need help, we ask for it directly, instead of lamenting in the hopes that someone will rescue us or feel sorry for us.
Excerpted from the article:
Complaining: Why Do We Complain and What is an Alternative?
by Thubten Chodron
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Taming the Mind
by Thubten Chodron.
The author offers practical techniques to help us gain a more spacious perspective on relationships, whether they be between lovers, parent and child, employer and employee, friends, or spiritual teacher and student. Guidelines are given for how to practice freeing ourselves from habitually blaming others for our problems and learning to be on the spot and take responsibility for our lives. We learn how to look at people and situations in an entirely new light.
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