When you blame another or criticize his mistakes, regardless of whether your blame and criticisms are accurate or not, you are hurting yourself. When you praise or appreciate another, regardless of whether she “deserves” your praise and appreciation or not, you are benefiting yourself.
Consider any person that you had blamed for your upsetness. Ask yourself, “What could I appreciate about that person now?” Don’t stop asking until you have at least one good answer — one that you know is good because it brings you a sense of peace and joy.
The next time you find yourself in the midst of blaming or criticizing another, see it as an opportunity to do yourself a favor and shift your awareness to appreciation. Ask yourself, “What could I appreciate about this person?” Again, don’t stop asking until you have at least one good answer.
Excerpted from: What is Forgiveness? Forgiveness is Freedom by William R. Yoder.